Yard Notes: Relationships with Moms are as Complicated as the Ecosystem

    The origins of our bouquets, underwear soil testing, and streamable plant-mom moments

    May! Where are all those flowers quenched by April showers? At the airport getting ready for YOUR MOM (Mother’s Day is Sunday lest you look like negligent spawn). Here’s a peek into the facility that stores 90% of all flowers entering the United States. 

    While we associate moms with home, the flowers we gift them come from all over. If you want the mom in your life to think of you when the petals unfold (and not cramped rooms of blooms waiting at the Mexican border), plant a bush in the yard for her. While you’re digging, why not be a really good doobie and bury some underwear? Skivvies thus soiled are a means to measure dirt quality as the degradation of the fabric correlates with how “the bacteria and the fungi in the soil have really gotten to work on that cotton fiber and broken it down into the sugar that it’s made of and consumed them.” 

    The dust from which we came is an auspicious substance and an enticing origin story for the good fortune that comes our way. Take the bowler who attributed his perfect game to a ball filled with his father’s ashes. So whether you think dirt or petals is more symbolic of your parental relationship, make sure to heed the signs if the garden starts to look weird. Crispy foliage might mean you’re too good of a sun. 

    A mother’s love can fix almost anything, though. Even if drama gets muddy. If you’re not by your matriarch’s side this Sunday, you can still stream the dream.

    Watch Pig Royalty (an addicting reality show about show pig families in Texas) or Pet Stars if you’re after furrier SnapChat fodder. Or watch Mamma Mia star Cher try to alleviate an elephant’s trauma with ear-splitting a capella lullabies in this new Smithsonian Channel doc.

    Of course, we can’t forget the plant mamas. Watch the First Lady landscape in heels (we suspect Major will chase the new White House cat up that linden). And, one of the OG Garden Goddesses, Martha Stewart, is hosting a topiary competition that starts next week

    Even with Arbor Day and Earth Day a week behind us, we can never lavish Mother Nature with too much love. 

    Maternal eternal,


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