Are we at war? The calendar seems to think so. March, named after Mars, the god of warfare, is the month Roman military campaigns resumed, or when Jack Frosticus stopped nipping at gladiator sandals. Rallying for conquest sounds a bit bellicose, but draft us for any activity to combat this lonely winter. That could include simply scouting for any semblance of spring: leaves budding, the shifting angle of the sun, birdsong.
Mostly it’s meant combing the world wide web for signs of life, or at least points of interest. March has a way of roaring in like a lion, so the claws are coming out a little sharp. In Texas, unprecedented winter storms have hit so hard sea turtles can’t even, in Massachusetts snowed-in chickens have taken to sledding and in Minnesota squirrels are schnockered on fermented pears.
How to soothe their hivernal scaries, only the late Steve Irwin might’ve known, but we have some tips for the humans reading this. We published two collaborations with artist Jeff Scher: the first is animated fertilizer for green dreams to replace your dark anxiety-riddled ones; the second is a watercolor stop-motion desert superbloom as seen through a car window. If you haven’t witnessed this floral phenomena IRL, you’ll get a taste of it from Scher’s short.
Perhaps you blasted through those two-minute clips and still need another palliative pat on your screen. Tune into a snake plant serenade, which combines an audience of houseplants with the lush tones of @rooftoprevival’s pre-WWII song selection.
If you’re unfazed by freezing temps, grab this month by the bulbs. Start scheming now about which summer-blooming plants you’d like to grow, or if you dug out last year’s bulbs, give them a head start. (I’m tickled by the paperwhites popping up near my toilet paper). You could also peek at a planting calendar to time out the rest of your garden (…specifically, when to introduce one of these fruity bastards, the Authentic™ progeny of Johnny Appleseed’s escapades.)
Now’s also a good time to trim back certain ornamental grasses and woody flowering shrubs and fruit trees. Look for the 5 D’s of prudent pruning: damaged, diseased, dry, dying, and distracted. OK, that last one’s just us, hung up on all the horticultural hotties in Bridgerton. We’re a little weird like our comedian friend, Pavar Snipe who’s more rapt by the show’s flower-decked sex locations than all the steamy stuff set to classical covers of “thank u, next.” Nothing quite like the merriment of diversion, especially when it nurtures a proclivity for plants. Dost thou agree, esteemed reader?
And while we’re using plants for time travel, a master gardener in Maryland discovered a new plant while digging near the home-turned-museum of the late Jane Gates, an emancipated slave. It was soapwort, the frothy botanical ingredient in Victorian-era detergent. Nearby, the gardener excavated a fire pit big enough to heat a cauldron of laundry. She would’ve never discovered it had she stuck to her original butterfly and veggie garden plan. And we wouldn’t have gone down a soapwort hole if it weren’t for the Frederick News-Post article.
If antiquated wash habits don’t dispel your sense of decay, the earthworms in space are with you. NASA created a contraption that measures muscle proteins over generations of worms to see if they lose strength (like humans might) when placed in anti-gravity environments.
Reddit could also be considered an anti-gravity environment for all the up-votes these plants are getting for being jerks. Post a picture of your surly succulent or fickle fiddle leaf fig, and you might get some growing advice from a dedicated online community. Of course, we’re here for you, too. Feel free to DM us anything that’s keeping your brain green and we might even feature it here.
Until next Friday,
Aerate